I think the third reviewer read a different story haha. I won't spoil your story in the comments, but the theme is far from a "diversion" lol. The use of that word is kind of strange considering the topic of your story (which I enjoyed very much).
That third reviewer is a sad, sad person. I picture the food critic in "Ratatouille," unable to enjoy the finer things of life, empty and desperate for meaning. Meanwhile, this story crackles!
Interesting choice to have the victim narrate in first person. As for that magazine... one look at the masthead (about) tells you all you need to know. Just forget about them ;)
I think that’s exactly what they didn’t like! One of the comments was something along the lines of “why did she even bring up having to hide her body from the kids, if she knew he’d be dead in six hours?” If you think about the story for more than a minute, that question makes no sense.
I have a saying … “don’t let the foghorns of disapproval drown out the sound of the waves on the shore”. The folk who appreciate the words are the ones who matter! Fact!
I think is a really good story that gets you fixed from the beggining to the end. No matter what that guy told you, I love your style, the way you write and the person hidding behind the writings. Keep on going!! 😀
Whoah, this was dark, Andrei! But seriously good. I started grinning in morbid realisation once my brain latched on to what was happening and what point of view we had. Very clever. I really like it. I don't understand that reviewer's comment, though. Sorry to hear it didn't get through, but at least it means you got to share it with us here, for which I'm grateful!
Appreciate you, Nathan! One critique that I got and agree with is that basically nothing is happening in this story. Everything important either has already happened, or will happen. So there is no reason to care aside from wanting to find out what happened. It’s
Possible that this is what editors wanted to see, and where other stories potentially shone more than mine. It’s a tough competition, for sure. But the point of view was too good to let go to waste, and this is simply the story that came out of the initial spark. The control I have is limited.
I don't really get that critique. The finding out and understanding what happened is the story for the reader.
Competition is tough. From what I've read about such things, it's damn hard to get anything accepted these days, so well done for being committed to trying. I hope something sticks at some point soon.
A creepy bedtime story with excellent pacing and lots left to the imagination about how the dear husband will deal with his fate before and after. I’d like to hear what the other reviews said. The last one would be enjoyed the old fashioned way, crumpled up paper thrown directly into the trash!
Thank you for reading! The first reviewer was really awesome, to be honest. They said,
“I havenߴt read anything like this before. I love the recently deceased wifeߴs point of view. Also, the tone was pitch perfect and I got a great sense of the wifeߴs voice as well as her relationship with her murdering husband. Well done!”
While the second’s review went something like this:
“This is fun. We arenߴt expecting a dead body to be narrating, and the twist is unexpected and introduces a few question marks, which is good. Itߴs nice that the story goes beyond where the words end.”
As you can see, these give a totally different vibe to the third one. It’s a wonder they all came from the same mag.
I think the third reviewer read a different story haha. I won't spoil your story in the comments, but the theme is far from a "diversion" lol. The use of that word is kind of strange considering the topic of your story (which I enjoyed very much).
Thanks so much for reading! Yeah, maybe I caught them at a bad time, I dunno. I’m glad you enjoyed the story.
That third reviewer is a sad, sad person. I picture the food critic in "Ratatouille," unable to enjoy the finer things of life, empty and desperate for meaning. Meanwhile, this story crackles!
Crackles! Such a nice compliment! Thanks for all the help, Julie!
Beautiful story. The punch line, not written, is that poor bastard had six hours till they reunited.
As for the 3rd reader, screw him! For sure he is not from Romania, where life beats movie.
😂😂 yes, for sure! 🔩him. Thanks for reading!
Interesting choice to have the victim narrate in first person. As for that magazine... one look at the masthead (about) tells you all you need to know. Just forget about them ;)
Yeah, it seems like those people don’t have much more writing experience than I do. Shame. We could have been friends.
It holds up for me! I was hooked, and read it a second time to think more about what I had just experienced. Nicely done, Andrei.
Appreciate the attention, Kathleen! 😳 it really means a lot.
I did exactly the same with the instant second readthrough!
Liking this point of view very much. Great story. Love all the details about their life together and the ‘six hours to live’ angle. Great story.
I think that’s exactly what they didn’t like! One of the comments was something along the lines of “why did she even bring up having to hide her body from the kids, if she knew he’d be dead in six hours?” If you think about the story for more than a minute, that question makes no sense.
I have a saying … “don’t let the foghorns of disapproval drown out the sound of the waves on the shore”. The folk who appreciate the words are the ones who matter! Fact!
Fact! Such wisdom.
I like that saying :)
Very kind.
I think is a really good story that gets you fixed from the beggining to the end. No matter what that guy told you, I love your style, the way you write and the person hidding behind the writings. Keep on going!! 😀
❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much for these words, Sara!
Ohh that's a great one! I loved it! The pace, the surprise effect, no unnecessary extra word. 👏🏼👏🏼
🥰🥰 so kind. Thank you, Monica!
Whoah, this was dark, Andrei! But seriously good. I started grinning in morbid realisation once my brain latched on to what was happening and what point of view we had. Very clever. I really like it. I don't understand that reviewer's comment, though. Sorry to hear it didn't get through, but at least it means you got to share it with us here, for which I'm grateful!
Appreciate you, Nathan! One critique that I got and agree with is that basically nothing is happening in this story. Everything important either has already happened, or will happen. So there is no reason to care aside from wanting to find out what happened. It’s
Possible that this is what editors wanted to see, and where other stories potentially shone more than mine. It’s a tough competition, for sure. But the point of view was too good to let go to waste, and this is simply the story that came out of the initial spark. The control I have is limited.
I don't really get that critique. The finding out and understanding what happened is the story for the reader.
Competition is tough. From what I've read about such things, it's damn hard to get anything accepted these days, so well done for being committed to trying. I hope something sticks at some point soon.
Thank you! I still have a story I’m submitting, and I won’t give up on that until it finds a place, upon which I’ll post it here.
Cliche? Not hardly.
I’ve never read anything quite like this before.
Narrator’s point of view is extremely clever. Reeled me in from the start.
That third reader? Well, bless his heart. (Ahem..)
Thanks for reading, Teyani!
A creepy bedtime story with excellent pacing and lots left to the imagination about how the dear husband will deal with his fate before and after. I’d like to hear what the other reviews said. The last one would be enjoyed the old fashioned way, crumpled up paper thrown directly into the trash!
Thank you for reading! The first reviewer was really awesome, to be honest. They said,
“I havenߴt read anything like this before. I love the recently deceased wifeߴs point of view. Also, the tone was pitch perfect and I got a great sense of the wifeߴs voice as well as her relationship with her murdering husband. Well done!”
While the second’s review went something like this:
“This is fun. We arenߴt expecting a dead body to be narrating, and the twist is unexpected and introduces a few question marks, which is good. Itߴs nice that the story goes beyond where the words end.”
As you can see, these give a totally different vibe to the third one. It’s a wonder they all came from the same mag.
Focusing on those lifts you up and the third one keeps you going!
Well put!
I don't why the third reader thought this was a "cliche" story-the pov twist is what kept me reading it! Great job, Andrei!
❤️❤️ thanks, Kimber! I really appreciate it.
That’s true, and I shall continue to do so. Thank you for reading and commenting!
🙏🏻🙏🏻 Appreciate you, Maureen!